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 Post subject: Re: Church fellowship
PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 9:43 am 
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faithfulservant wrote:
in your world perhaps doom...but then we know your world...you have made it clear the less real contact with people the better ... saying hello and smiling at someone is not exactly bugging someone ...


It's not 'smile and say 'hi'' it's 'please sit down and tell me everything that is going on in your life, but before you do that, let me spend the next 3 hours telling you every detail of mine'....guess what? I don't care.

Why do you think it is that, 99.9% of the time, when you ask someone 'how is your day?' they respond 'fine' rather than actually answering your question? Answering 'fine' is the polite way of saying 'I don't feel like talking to you, just leave me alone'.

A good rule of thumb is 'if you think the other person wants to hear what you have to say or cares about you at all, you are almost certainly wrong, so keep it to yourself', and that's the rule I live by whenever I meet someone new....

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Therefore.....let it burn.


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 Post subject: Re: Church fellowship
PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 9:51 am 
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Doom wrote:

I'm a 'big city' person, I already have enough social obligations with family, friends and my colleagues at work, and indeed, I find many of those social obligations dreadfully boring and unpleasant, and if anything, I would prefer to reduce the number of social obligations I have to the lowest possible number... the absolute dead last thing I want is to add even more social obligations with everyone at my parish to my already over packed calendar.



I'm a big city native and I love my suburban parish with all the friendly familiar faces and prospective babysitters and social opportunities...... It really depends on your stage in life.... When I was single all I wanted was to run in and run out on my way to plains, trains and boats. Now, I love knowing people enough to ask for help. Its different for everyone.

_________________
The image of the Mother of God demonstrates the basic spiritual attitude which corresponds to woman’s natural vocation; her relation to her husband is one of obedience, trust, and participation in his life as she furthers his objective tasks and personality development; to the child she gives true care, encouragement, and formation of his God-given talents; she offers both selfless surrender and a quiet withdrawal when unneeded. -
Edith Stein

Formerly Sunmumy.


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 Post subject: Re: Church fellowship
PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 9:54 am 
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Doom wrote:
faithfulservant wrote:
in your world perhaps doom...but then we know your world...you have made it clear the less real contact with people the better ... saying hello and smiling at someone is not exactly bugging someone ...


It's not 'smile and say 'hi'' it's 'please sit down and tell me everything that is going on in your life, but before you do that, let me spend the next 3 hours telling you every detail of mine'....guess what? I don't care.

Why do you think it is that, 99.9% of the time, when you ask someone 'how is your day?' they respond 'fine' rather than actually answering your question? Answering 'fine' is the polite way of saying 'I don't feel like talking to you, just leave me alone'.

A good rule of thumb is 'if you think the other person wants to hear what you have to say or cares about you at all, you are almost certainly wrong, so keep it to yourself', and that's the rule I live by whenever I meet someone new....


that might be your experience...or it might be your predilection for exaggeration, because it is certainly not what i would do or what i have observed..and i doubt is what happens in the real world 98.76543% of the time :fyi: :wave

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Last edited by faithfulservant on Mon May 21, 2012 10:28 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Church fellowship
PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 9:55 am 
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sunmumy wrote:
Doom wrote:

I'm a 'big city' person, I already have enough social obligations with family, friends and my colleagues at work, and indeed, I find many of those social obligations dreadfully boring and unpleasant, and if anything, I would prefer to reduce the number of social obligations I have to the lowest possible number... the absolute dead last thing I want is to add even more social obligations with everyone at my parish to my already over packed calendar.



I'm a big city native and I love my suburban parish with all the friendly familiar faces and prospective babysitters and social opportunities...... It really depends on your stage in life.... When I was single all I wanted was to run in and run out on my way to plains, trains and boats. Now, I love knowing people enough to ask for help. Its different for everyone.



Ask for help? What on Earth would I be 'asking for help' with? And why would I ask a bunch of people I don't know rather than my actual family, friends and whatnot?

_________________
"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and they deserve to get it good and hard" HL Mencken

Therefore.....let it burn.


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 Post subject: Re: Church fellowship
PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 9:56 am 
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kage_ar wrote:
mea wrote:
milby wrote:
I have never been to a Catholic Mass yet. As a "searching" baptist the baptist church has a lot of opportunities for fellowship. Are the Catholic church members close nit as in do they fellowship with each other or do they just somberly go to mass and then go home?

Well, it's a different kind of fellowship. There aren't Sunday school classes and church potlucks and whatnot; but (depending on the size of the parish, I would guess--I've only been back in the Church for a short time, and so only a member of one large parish) most of the fellowship seems to be centered around ministries.


Fellowship takes place right after Mass in the hall for coffee and donuts!

Except for tiny tiny parishes, all in the US have "Sunday School". It is called RE, CCD, PRE, Faith Formation - many different names, all of it is classes that are divided up by age.

Potlucks and picnics? Yep, those are very big in the South. They also go by the name "festival" or "bazaar".

Read the Church bulletin, you will be surprised what all is happening, read your Diocese web site for happenings at other parishes, look at their bulletins and websites.

But for many non-Catholic Christians, Sunday school is different from what I've seen with RE, CCD, et al. Sunday school classes often have officers, and they check roll, and have newsletters, and visit newcomers, and have baby showers and holiday parties, and sometimes additional weekly Bible studies, and more. It is your small group within the larger body. My experience (so far) is that people show up for the Re, CCD, etc., do their thing, and go home. It's all quite friendly, you know, but it isn't (or hasn't for me) building relationships outside of the church.


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 Post subject: Re: Church fellowship
PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 10:05 am 
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faithfulservant wrote:
Doom wrote:
faithfulservant wrote:
in your world perhaps doom...but then we know your world...you have made it clear the less real contact with people the better ... saying hello and smiling at someone is not exactly bugging someone ...


It's not 'smile and say 'hi'' it's 'please sit down and tell me everything that is going on in your life, but before you do that, let me spend the next 3 hours telling you every detail of mine'....guess what? I don't care.

Why do you think it is that, 99.9% of the time, when you ask someone 'how is your day?' they respond 'fine' rather than actually answering your question? Answering 'fine' is the polite way of saying 'I don't feel like talking to you, just leave me alone'.

A good rule of thumb is 'if you think the other person wants to hear what you have to say or cares about you at all, you are almost certainly wrong, so keep it to yourself', and that's the rule I live by whenever I meet someone new....


that might be your experience...or it might be your predilection for exaggeration, because it is certainly not what i wou ld door what i have observed..and i doubt is what happens in the real world 98.76543% of the time :fyi: :wave


You've clearly never lived in the Midwest, or encountered 'the (insert name of Midwestern state) goodbye' also known as 'the long goodbye'...this is the social convention that when at a party or social event, you don't leave until after you've had a 'goodbye' conversation with every single person at the party...which means you get up to leave and say 'well, I'm going home'....20 minute conversation, then you walk to the door, 20 minute conversation, then you go to your car, 20 minute conservation, it takes 2 fricking hours just to leave....and no, that is NOT an exaggeration...

http://ravenseggs.blogspot.com/2006/06/ ... odbye.html

It is bad enough putting up with that when it is people you actually know and are friends with, but when it's people you barely know, it is intolerable....and the 'Minnesota Hello' is the same damn thing....except it happens when you ENTER

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"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and they deserve to get it good and hard" HL Mencken

Therefore.....let it burn.


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 Post subject: Re: Church fellowship
PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 10:27 am 
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you are correct...i have been blessed to live in texas my whole life :cloud9:

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 Post subject: Re: Church fellowship
PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 11:03 am 
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Doom wrote:
sunmumy wrote:
Doom wrote:

I'm a 'big city' person, I already have enough social obligations with family, friends and my colleagues at work, and indeed, I find many of those social obligations dreadfully boring and unpleasant, and if anything, I would prefer to reduce the number of social obligations I have to the lowest possible number... the absolute dead last thing I want is to add even more social obligations with everyone at my parish to my already over packed calendar.



I'm a big city native and I love my suburban parish with all the friendly familiar faces and prospective babysitters and social opportunities...... It really depends on your stage in life.... When I was single all I wanted was to run in and run out on my way to plains, trains and boats. Now, I love knowing people enough to ask for help. Its different for everyone.



Ask for help? What on Earth would I be 'asking for help' with? And why would I ask a bunch of people I don't know rather than my actual family, friends and whatnot?


Cause I do know these people. I have family and friends, but they don't all have kids or want to go thrifting with me or want to send me a post partum meal. I love those things about my parish. After living in an aging city parish, I do love the long midwestern good by. I love that men give me their seat in church if I'm carrrying a baby and people stop me to give me a message for my MIL or my BIL or to let me know that my name came up about such and such parish activity....

_________________
The image of the Mother of God demonstrates the basic spiritual attitude which corresponds to woman’s natural vocation; her relation to her husband is one of obedience, trust, and participation in his life as she furthers his objective tasks and personality development; to the child she gives true care, encouragement, and formation of his God-given talents; she offers both selfless surrender and a quiet withdrawal when unneeded. -
Edith Stein

Formerly Sunmumy.


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 Post subject: Re: Church fellowship
PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 11:18 am 
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faithfulservant wrote:
you are correct...i have been blessed to live in texas my whole life :cloud9:

I wasn't raised in Texas, but I got here as fast as I could. :D


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 Post subject: Re: Church fellowship
PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 11:41 am 
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mea wrote:
kage_ar wrote:
mea wrote:
milby wrote:
I have never been to a Catholic Mass yet. As a "searching" baptist the baptist church has a lot of opportunities for fellowship. Are the Catholic church members close nit as in do they fellowship with each other or do they just somberly go to mass and then go home?

Well, it's a different kind of fellowship. There aren't Sunday school classes and church potlucks and whatnot; but (depending on the size of the parish, I would guess--I've only been back in the Church for a short time, and so only a member of one large parish) most of the fellowship seems to be centered around ministries.


Fellowship takes place right after Mass in the hall for coffee and donuts!

Except for tiny tiny parishes, all in the US have "Sunday School". It is called RE, CCD, PRE, Faith Formation - many different names, all of it is classes that are divided up by age.

Potlucks and picnics? Yep, those are very big in the South. They also go by the name "festival" or "bazaar".

Read the Church bulletin, you will be surprised what all is happening, read your Diocese web site for happenings at other parishes, look at their bulletins and websites.

But for many non-Catholic Christians, Sunday school is different from what I've seen with RE, CCD, et al. Sunday school classes often have officers, and they check roll, and have newsletters, and visit newcomers, and have baby showers and holiday parties, and sometimes additional weekly Bible studies, and more. It is your small group within the larger body. My experience (so far) is that people show up for the Re, CCD, etc., do their thing, and go home. It's all quite friendly, you know, but it isn't (or hasn't for me) building relationships outside of the church.


We are required to take roll and have registration for if nothing else insurance purposes.

At the adult level, the kind of "small group" that you are talking about are usually found in the Altar Society, CCW Circles, Catholic Daughters of the Americas, etc.

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 Post subject: Re: Church fellowship
PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 12:34 pm 
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kage_ar wrote:
mea wrote:
kage_ar wrote:
mea wrote:
milby wrote:
I have never been to a Catholic Mass yet. As a "searching" baptist the baptist church has a lot of opportunities for fellowship. Are the Catholic church members close nit as in do they fellowship with each other or do they just somberly go to mass and then go home?

Well, it's a different kind of fellowship. There aren't Sunday school classes and church potlucks and whatnot; but (depending on the size of the parish, I would guess--I've only been back in the Church for a short time, and so only a member of one large parish) most of the fellowship seems to be centered around ministries.


Fellowship takes place right after Mass in the hall for coffee and donuts!

Except for tiny tiny parishes, all in the US have "Sunday School". It is called RE, CCD, PRE, Faith Formation - many different names, all of it is classes that are divided up by age.

Potlucks and picnics? Yep, those are very big in the South. They also go by the name "festival" or "bazaar".

Read the Church bulletin, you will be surprised what all is happening, read your Diocese web site for happenings at other parishes, look at their bulletins and websites.

But for many non-Catholic Christians, Sunday school is different from what I've seen with RE, CCD, et al. Sunday school classes often have officers, and they check roll, and have newsletters, and visit newcomers, and have baby showers and holiday parties, and sometimes additional weekly Bible studies, and more. It is your small group within the larger body. My experience (so far) is that people show up for the Re, CCD, etc., do their thing, and go home. It's all quite friendly, you know, but it isn't (or hasn't for me) building relationships outside of the church.


We are required to take roll and have registration for if nothing else insurance purposes.

At the adult level, the kind of "small group" that you are talking about are usually found in the Altar Society, CCW Circles, Catholic Daughters of the Americas, etc.

But that's a different kind of roll. In the Sunday school classes, it will be so that the leaders in the class can go visit the folks who weren't there, or send them postcards saying they were missed, or call to see if anyone is sick and should they bring food.

And see, Altar Society, CCW Circles, Catholic Daughters, etc., are, as I said, activities centered around Church ministries. I'm not criticizing it at all; I'm just pointing out to a non-Catholic inquirer where the fellowship she's used to happens, and that it is different from Sunday school. :D


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 Post subject: Re: Church fellowship
PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 12:58 pm 
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i still can't believe neither doom nor bagheera has made the anticipated post... i must be slipping :scratch:

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 Post subject: Re: Church fellowship
PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 1:42 pm 
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mea wrote:
But that's a different kind of roll. In the Sunday school classes, it will be so that the leaders in the class can go visit the folks who weren't there, or send them postcards saying they were missed, or call to see if anyone is sick and should they bring food.

And see, Altar Society, CCW Circles, Catholic Daughters, etc., are, as I said, activities centered around Church ministries. I'm not criticizing it at all; I'm just pointing out to a non-Catholic inquirer where the fellowship she's used to happens, and that it is different from Sunday school. :D


I've been a Catechist for grade school, taught Confirmation, high school youth, RCIA and adult groups, I'm a member of different groups and circles. We have always looked in on missing members, had baby showers, wedding showers, brought in food - all of those things. We are Christians, we try to act like it :)

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 Post subject: Re: Church fellowship
PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 1:58 pm 
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kage_ar wrote:
mea wrote:
But that's a different kind of roll. In the Sunday school classes, it will be so that the leaders in the class can go visit the folks who weren't there, or send them postcards saying they were missed, or call to see if anyone is sick and should they bring food.

And see, Altar Society, CCW Circles, Catholic Daughters, etc., are, as I said, activities centered around Church ministries. I'm not criticizing it at all; I'm just pointing out to a non-Catholic inquirer where the fellowship she's used to happens, and that it is different from Sunday school. :D


I've been a Catechist for grade school, taught Confirmation, high school youth, RCIA and adult groups, I'm a member of different groups and circles. We have always looked in on missing members, had baby showers, wedding showers, brought in food - all of those things. We are Christians, we try to act like it :)

Maybe I just haven't been around long enough. :D

Still, in non-Catholic Christian churches, it is common for all of those things to happen within the individual Sunday school classes--one-stop shopping, as it were. ::):


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 Post subject: Re: Church fellowship
PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 3:32 pm 
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mea wrote:
kage_ar wrote:
mea wrote:
But that's a different kind of roll. In the Sunday school classes, it will be so that the leaders in the class can go visit the folks who weren't there, or send them postcards saying they were missed, or call to see if anyone is sick and should they bring food.

And see, Altar Society, CCW Circles, Catholic Daughters, etc., are, as I said, activities centered around Church ministries. I'm not criticizing it at all; I'm just pointing out to a non-Catholic inquirer where the fellowship she's used to happens, and that it is different from Sunday school. :D


I've been a Catechist for grade school, taught Confirmation, high school youth, RCIA and adult groups, I'm a member of different groups and circles. We have always looked in on missing members, had baby showers, wedding showers, brought in food - all of those things. We are Christians, we try to act like it :)

Maybe I just haven't been around long enough. :D

Still, in non-Catholic Christian churches, it is common for all of those things to happen within the individual Sunday school classes--one-stop shopping, as it were. ::):


And here with the parish as big as it is, it really does have to happen from the smaller groups. As you get more involved, you will learn to translate (the terms are so different for something as simple as a fellowship meal that one needs a decoder ring!)

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 Post subject: Re: Church fellowship
PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 3:45 pm 
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An alarming statistic given to me by the Director of Adult Faith Formation at my Parish:

40% of Catholics entering into the Church in 2012 Easter vigil will not be practicing in less than 3 years.

In talking about this, we discussed ways to avoid straying. Besides the receive the sacraments, prayer, etc, the most important thing was fellowship. Get involved in the Church ministries. This is important especially for new Catholics because they may be surrounded by people who are opposed to the faith. This makes it especially challenging to stay on track.


As for my parish, we have lots and lots of community groups. In fact, my mother-in-law, who is a Southern Baptist attends one of the groups called New Horizons. It is an all women's senior group that meet for activities. We have young adults singles groups, couples groups, men's groups, women's faith sharing groups, youth group, middle school group, scrapbooking, cooking, bible studies, prayer blanket, scouting (AHG, Boy Scouts), plus mission groups, etc. I could go on and on.

It does vary from parish to parish though, but that doesn't mean you can't attend one parish and be part of a group at another parish. Sometimes people do that.

Lisa


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 Post subject: Re: Church fellowship
PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 4:25 pm 
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sunmumy wrote:
Doom wrote:
sunmumy wrote:
Doom wrote:

I'm a 'big city' person, I already have enough social obligations with family, friends and my colleagues at work, and indeed, I find many of those social obligations dreadfully boring and unpleasant, and if anything, I would prefer to reduce the number of social obligations I have to the lowest possible number... the absolute dead last thing I want is to add even more social obligations with everyone at my parish to my already over packed calendar.



I'm a big city native and I love my suburban parish with all the friendly familiar faces and prospective babysitters and social opportunities...... It really depends on your stage in life.... When I was single all I wanted was to run in and run out on my way to plains, trains and boats. Now, I love knowing people enough to ask for help. Its different for everyone.



Ask for help? What on Earth would I be 'asking for help' with? And why would I ask a bunch of people I don't know rather than my actual family, friends and whatnot?


Cause I do know these people. I have family and friends, but they don't all have kids or want to go thrifting with me or want to send me a post partum meal. I love those things about my parish. After living in an aging city parish, I do love the long midwestern good by. I love that men give me their seat in church if I'm carrrying a baby and people stop me to give me a message for my MIL or my BIL or to let me know that my name came up about such and such parish activity....


I have plenty of family and friends, I don't feel any need to be friends with every person I meet....indeed I think that the desire to be friends with everyone you know is an unhealthy impulse, one which harms more often than it helps.

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"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and they deserve to get it good and hard" HL Mencken

Therefore.....let it burn.


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 Post subject: Re: Church fellowship
PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 6:18 pm 
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Doom wrote:
.....indeed, in a big city it is considered rude to even make eye contact with another person, which is why, when you walk along the sidewalk or whatnot the proper thing to do is look down at your feet, NOT stare at everyone else...

Actually, that is extremely anti-social behavior, even sociopathic to an extent I must say. Certainly, it is not polite in any sense of the word.

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 Post subject: Re: Church fellowship
PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 6:46 pm 
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Servant of Guadalupe wrote:
Doom wrote:
.....indeed, in a big city it is considered rude to even make eye contact with another person, which is why, when you walk along the sidewalk or whatnot the proper thing to do is look down at your feet, NOT stare at everyone else...

Actually, that is extremely anti-social behavior, even sociopathic to an extent I must say. Certainly, it is not polite in any sense of the word.

Sorry, but you're quite wrong. It is polite to give the illusion of privacy when there is none. So you don't look at other people when you're in a crowd.

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 Post subject: Re: Church fellowship
PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 6:48 pm 
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Servant of Guadalupe wrote:
Doom wrote:
.....indeed, in a big city it is considered rude to even make eye contact with another person, which is why, when you walk along the sidewalk or whatnot the proper thing to do is look down at your feet, NOT stare at everyone else...

Actually, that is extremely anti-social behavior, even sociopathic to an extent I must say. Certainly, it is not polite in any sense of the word.


I can see that you've never lived in a big city.....

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