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 Post subject: Blessed Karl's Conclusion of "utterly depressed"
PostPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 12:30 pm 
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Sons of Thunder
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Hello everyone. If you wish to know more about what has happened to me recently go to my "utterly depressed" thread I made. Some of you are probably wondering what the conclusion is? Let me put it to you this way :imagine if one of your closes friends walked up to you andspit in your face and told you they never wished to see you again.


After my gf broke up with me due to her moving to Arizona I waited a few weeks (as per her friends advice). Then I sent her a couple of letters and several texts. In the letters I told her that I would be happy to at the least be her friend and support her any way I could. I told her I would help her in school (her grades are plummetting) and that even though we could not date I would be as great a friend to her as I could. I thanked her for the last few months, the close and beautiful times we shared, and I told her how much it meant to me. I promised to support her all the way. In short, I poured my soul out to her. I thanked her and told her that I would assist her in any way I could and that my door was open. I thanked her for the few special months we shared together.

She ignored me.

Completely refused to speak to me. All the letters: no reply. Texts: no reply.

Then she called me today.

Boy what a call. It was like I was speaking to a different person. I was in shock. She applied no reason to anything she said. Like a broken record playing a bad song she repeatedly said that she never wanted to ever see me again. She said I never spent enough time with her and she would never think of entering into any relationship wiht someone like me. She completely turned on me. I was always there for her. When her grandmother lay dying I spoke to her and tried to comfort her almost every day. I texted and called constantly. I took her to NYC on dates and offered to always be there for her. In short, she completely lied to me and verbally spit in my face.

Over the weeks people have warned me of this. But I tried to see the good side of her. I never would have dreamed of this happening. I loved her and dedicated as much time as possible with her. I never ignored or mocked her. I loved her family and waht she liked and wanted to always make sure she was happy.

I'm not going to moan and complain like alittle girl.

To those of you who have left advice I thank you. Much of your advice on how she probably never wanted to see me again I ignored because I thought it would never happen. If you were able to watch the months we dated and the close times we had together you too would be in shock that she would turn on me in such a way.

Oh well though. I don't deny I am deeply saddenned (I broke down into tears when she finally hung up on me). It was like your best friend coming up to you and spitting in your face and telling you to go to hell and then walking away. She essentially played with me. Telling me, a mere few days before she broke up with me, that she would never break up with me and that she loved me so much.

But again, to those of you who have comforted me and given me advice I thank you. It has helped. I can only react to this terrible news by maturity and not getting angry.

PLease pray for me if it is not too much to ask though.

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My avatar is Blessed Emperor Karl. The last true Catholic Emperor. He did what virtually no other leader, regardless of religion, would do in WWI. May all leaders look to Blessed Emperor Karl as an example of what a true leader should be like.


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 Post subject: Re: Blessed Karl's Conclusion of "utterly depressed"
PostPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 12:44 pm 
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I'm sorry to hear this. I will pray. Should you find yourself angry, do the best you can to remember that the only remedy for anger is forgiveness. If necessary, think of this: She has to live with being the kind of person she is. Have pity on her in your thoughts. It won't stop the hurt, at least not immediately, but you'll be practicing a much more healthy way to think and live.

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 Post subject: Re: Blessed Karl's Conclusion of "utterly depressed"
PostPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 12:55 pm 
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Sons of Thunder
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I know it feels like it is impossible to do so Karl, but you have to emotionally and physically, completely make an end of it. You may in the future run into her or feel you have to try one more time or she may even think the same with you, but from what you have said, the most fair to both and least painful is a clean and complete break. It sounds like this has happened but I repeat this because of the strong desire everyone has to, "make it right" or to imagine something can be saved. Although the physical break has happened the emotional one takes longer. Do what you can to put her completely out of your mind and that does not include immediately dating again. Best to wait. Seek out your closest friends and spend time with them with cuddles of sympathy, but don't make it the topic of conversation, just let it die off.



Just some advice from someone who's been through this. All my sympathy and a prayer. :pray:

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"Oh, night that guided me, Oh, night more lovely than the dawn, Oh, night that joined Beloved with lover, Lover transformed in the Beloved!" St. John of the Cross


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 Post subject: Re: Blessed Karl's Conclusion of "utterly depressed"
PostPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 12:58 pm 
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Sons of Thunder
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Thank you Obi.

I can't be angry at her. I will take Plato's advice to heart and let the reasonable portion of my soul lead rather than instincts or emotions.

Also I found out about the high school she went to. I never realized but it was a high school for people who had learning disabilities in the sense of emotional and mental disabilities. My dad, who is very learned in medicine and science, had a talk with me about some of this. He told me that (she was adopted by the way) that it was quite probable that her real mother had some cocaine or drug addiction. My dad said that hte illogical responses she gave me (theres more than what I posted above btw) sounded like someone who had emotional or mental problems. he basically told me that she had some kind of emotional swings and that the months she dated me she was on another level, so to speak, and that she has swung again. In short it is not my fault and the person I loved really is no longer there any more.

It is hard to accept that. But it comforts me at least. I know it wasn't her fault she did this to me. I will cherish the months we spent with each other and will save every picture I ever took of her. But God had other plans. I wrote this tearfully now but I know it was not the will of God and that I cannot be angry at someone like her.


P.S.- Obi (and everyone else) I ask you to pray for her as well. That she may be healed of what she has and be able to lead a productive life.

Thnx

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My avatar is Blessed Emperor Karl. The last true Catholic Emperor. He did what virtually no other leader, regardless of religion, would do in WWI. May all leaders look to Blessed Emperor Karl as an example of what a true leader should be like.


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 Post subject: Re: Blessed Karl's Conclusion of "utterly depressed"
PostPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 3:50 pm 
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My kids like to give me these.
To make you feel better...
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:pray: all around. God bless you and keep you always, Blessed Karl!
This is all for the best, even though such things are never easy when you have to go through them.


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 Post subject: Re: Blessed Karl's Conclusion of "utterly depressed"
PostPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 4:02 pm 
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Handmaids of the Lord
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:pray: :pray: :pray:

God bless,
--Amy

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 Post subject: Re: Blessed Karl's Conclusion of "utterly depressed"
PostPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 4:18 pm 
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Sons of Thunder
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In my own life,I've learned how the Lord has protected me, even when I wanted something else.

The Lord has other plans!

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Help, O Lord, for good men have vanished;
truth has gone from the sons of men.
Falsehood they speak one to another,
with lying lips, with a false heart.
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See how the wicked prowl on every side,
while the worthless are prized highly by the sons of men.


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 Post subject: Re: Blessed Karl's Conclusion of "utterly depressed"
PostPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 6:13 pm 
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Handmaids of the Lord
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I'm very sorry to read this. It's hard to tell why these things happen, but they do. :(

I'll pray for you and the girl.

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Quid retribuam Domino pro omnibus quæ retribuit mihi?

"Take it as a certain sign that your charity is not genuine if your words, no matter how true, are not charitable." --St Francis de Sales

"The thing is--to be ready to die: and is there one of us who would quite like to die, doing as little for God as we are doing now?" --Fr Faber


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 Post subject: Re: Blessed Karl's Conclusion of "utterly depressed"
PostPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 10:00 pm 
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:pray: :pray:

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 Post subject: Re: Blessed Karl's Conclusion of "utterly depressed"
PostPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 11:14 pm 
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Handmaids of the Lord
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:pray:

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During His trials Our Lord would not respond to the chief priests (Mt 14:61), or Herod (Lk 23:9) or Pilate (Jn 19:9). Words had failed. All that could penetrate those hardened hearts was the witness of divine love, the offering of His life to the Father. So also for us — when words fail the greatest way to “win” an argument is by acts of love. - Fr. Paul Scalia

There is no law about nougatine. - Chef Stephane Glacier


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 Post subject: Re: Blessed Karl's Conclusion of "utterly depressed"
PostPosted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 12:01 am 
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Oh Karl!! I'm so sorry that this happened to you. What your dad said is heartbreaking and I will pray for you that your heart mends and your spirit will find peace once again. As the others have said, God has plans for you and your needed somenwhere else now. With a sycg a sweet soul as yours, I'm sure you will be blessed with an even greater and more fulfilling love in the future. Brighter days are a comin my friend.


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 Post subject: Re: Blessed Karl's Conclusion of "utterly depressed"
PostPosted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 11:04 am 
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Karl,

There is a form of mental illness that has it's onset in the late teens to early twenties. It may just be possible, that this is something that she is going through.

In any event, turn to our Lord and Lady and unite your suffering to the suffering that they endured while on Earth.

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 Post subject: Re: Blessed Karl's Conclusion of "utterly depressed"
PostPosted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 7:49 pm 
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Sons of Thunder
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I hope she recovers though. Please pray for her that she may find a suitable niche in life and be saved and returned to God.

I ask this not because I have any delusions of going out with her again; but because I do feel more pity than anger towards her. It is very possible that she has some form of emotional or mental problems.

I pray to God so hard that he helps her.


But thank you all for your support and prayers. It means alot to me that you have done this. Been a tough month. Thank you

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My avatar is Blessed Emperor Karl. The last true Catholic Emperor. He did what virtually no other leader, regardless of religion, would do in WWI. May all leaders look to Blessed Emperor Karl as an example of what a true leader should be like.


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 Post subject: Re: Blessed Karl's Conclusion of "utterly depressed"
PostPosted: Mon Nov 09, 2009 12:19 am 
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Handmaids of the Lord
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I hope you're feeling a bit better, Karl.

I've been praying.

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Quid retribuam Domino pro omnibus quæ retribuit mihi?

"Take it as a certain sign that your charity is not genuine if your words, no matter how true, are not charitable." --St Francis de Sales

"The thing is--to be ready to die: and is there one of us who would quite like to die, doing as little for God as we are doing now?" --Fr Faber


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 Post subject: Re: Blessed Karl's Conclusion of "utterly depressed"
PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 3:24 am 
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I think you should be mad. You gave (too much, IMO) and got played. That's wrong, and it's something worth being angry over. Pray for her if you want, but not at the expense of praying for yourself, and God being there for YOU and YOUR path. If she's ment to be "saved" then she will be. If not, then that's the choice she's made, and it's not your responsability to try and get into anyone's head and change their mind. We each create and form our own destiny.

Now what's yours?

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