hello all

so about a year and 3 months ago a met a lady who i became friends with through an iphone app we played a neat game called papaya farm she went on a chat and asked for some help and i decided to help her out. well i saw on her profile she had a son and what not and we just talked about that she wouldnt really talk about her husband but yeah i knew she was married we would talk about stupid little things and i would ask her how baby boy was and how she was and she told me about her problems with her marriage and we kinda got a bit closer. earlier this year we kinda kicked it into affair mode which i know is bad but thing was we never did anything and we never saw each other the feelings were there and still are cause i love her to death and want nothing but the best for her and she says the same to me anyway, i called her one night when her husband wasnt around and we were just talkin about January which she had plans to file for divorce and we were talking about getting together and wanting to kinda do it right even thought we messed up to begin with. well he found out and you know he was all mad even though he didnt treat his wife right and what not i understand that well she has someone who cares about her deeply and she cares just as much about them.

she left and is not at her moms and going through the drama of this and well im here studying to become a nurse and making something out of my life. i know its stupid caring for someone you havent met before but its also amazing just to have someone who cares about you and what you are not what you look like or how much money you have and well you know like most people today.

i know we messed up and we are paying for it sometimes i feel like i should just drop out of the picture but she has no intentions of going back with him i want to stay and ride this out and hope to be happy which is why i found this forum looking for some saints to pray to and hope that everything works out for the both of us even if we arent together, in all honesty i just want some advice and help cause man i feel so rotten inside for what happened and i feel bad for her son even though he just turned 2 its a nasty feeling cause yeah i pretty much became a home wrecker and i carry that weight alone.

so please gimme all the advice you can anything is worth it to me cause i feel like im just drowning in quicksand thinking about what a rotten jerk i am and how well i could have avoided everything and just held off till she was single and ready to start something new

I suspect that you already know what to do. You already know that you shouldn't have gone where you went with this situation. Make use of the Sacrament of Reconciliation, pray, ask for Mary's intervention. Even if you had met this woman, in person, just after she left her husband, it would still be a bad situation. She's broken right right now, and in no position to take up with someone else. This isn't going to turn out well, even if you insist on hanging around, or meeting her.

Jesus said that we can be guilty of adultery in our minds. This is no joke, and it's not being nit-picky. Sin starts in our minds first, then settles in our hearts, before it kicks into action. That's why we're warned to "avoid the near occasion of sin." We set ourselves up for sin by tip-toe-ing near it. The closer we get, the harder it is to resist.

Please find productive things to do, and increase your time with God in prayer and scripture. God bless you.

If she will do it with you, she will do it to you.

Tell her to go back to her husband.

Go to confession.

Get rid of your computer gaming if it leads you to sin.

Don't be the "White Knight" for someone who's in a rocky relationship, or the "rebound" guy....



....EVER.

I had an ex-girlfriend that the "ex" part never settled in for her or me. We never stopped talking, and even spoke about getting married several times over the years. She ended up getting hitched with someone, but didn't tell me for a long time. Anyway, my point is this, her and I had an "emotional affair." If that isn't a real term, it aught to be, and I think that it is just as sinful as if I woulda took a trip out there and gotten carnal. My point is, there is no good that can come from your situation. It is mortally sinful, and you gotta cut that ish off right now. In my situation, the gal would always get back to me after I would cut off contact. She had a kid, and he died of sids, and I let that be an excuse to start the fling back up. It IS an affair, and it can't be done right. Ditch the broad.

As kage said, if she did it to him, she will do it to you. That fact is what helped me to cut off this gal finally. I understand how some people can wrap you around their finger. You give her that power, she doesn't wield it without your consent.

It is a sin to have an 'emotional' affair with a married woman.
Cheating doesn't only mean sex. A person's emotional life, acting like one is having an affair, is also part of marriage. There's nothing in this for you.

IS she even CATHOLIC? IF she isn't...She has the annulment issues, adultry etc....and then what....she would turn around and maybe at some point marry you? DONT EVEN GO THERE!!! TRUST ME-don't marry a non catholic....I did and lets say, it's not going to end well...and I have my son he's my world...but I'd never marry a non catholic again...or to begin with if I knew what I know now. You can't understand all the issues and challenges that you will have if you do marry one and they don't convert...don't go there

My ex husband had an affair with my best friend at the time....cheating in minds is still cheating & that saying once a cheater always a cheater..is often said for a reason. Just because your marriage is over..doesn't mean she's or anyone is free to go out and get someone new...I had to wait a year for a divorce to finalize and kept pure.

Go to confession you will feel so much better and you will have all the advice & answers you need when you pray