I haven't talked to a priest, i feel embarrassed because I'm not used to discuss sexual topics with a priest...
It might be good for you to talk to a priest. Keep trying to muster the courage.
Just to clarify things, we were just friends at first, but gradually we felt in love and at that point the temptations became very strong which led me to brake the relationship. Sexual gratification was not my goal, it was love, but the situation was as follows:
1 - we felt in love
Feeling that we are in love doesn't mean that we truly love the other person. Love is not a feeling.
- it ain't at all reasonable that we get married since there were 15 years age difference, she had 3 kids and the fact that i could never afford to provide her the quality of life she had...
It does seem like now you know that this person would be a bad match for you, and since you know that now, you can keep future friendships from developing into inappropriate relationships.
3 - She's Christian but not quite a believer (she's a big fan of Buddhism and speaks all the time of its practice... ) so she had no problem in having a sexual relationship with me...
Don't get involved with women who are not faithful Catholics.
Beyond that, until you are virtuous enough to protect your own chastity and hers, you should abstain from dating altogether.
4 - The temptations grew very strong to a level i felt i had to either brake the relationship or fell down...
In conclusion, I loved and respected the women, she needed this love and so do I...
It might be helpful for you to re-evaluate your sense of "need."
unfortunately, always the dry kiss leads to a hug then a french kiss... definite temptations... 99% of the girls have no problem at all in trespassing the red line of the dry kiss and the worst is that i feel i can't stick to just holding hands or a dry kiss :S
You should probably not date for a while.
The issue is quite complicated....
Is it really complicated, or is it pretty simple?