Hi all,
i've spent the last few years on a a kind of vocation journey that took me from my job to entering the noviciate of a religious order to leaving that last summer.
I still dont know what direction i'm going. my issue is that a couple of weeks back i met a girl that i like, and she's interested in me. If i wasnt discerning a vocation there'd be no obstacle to going out with her.
But i dont know what I'm doing. I meet up with a spiritual guide every so often who said to me that maybe i should let the idea of priesthood drift away, and if it is God's calling for me that it'll come back.
I never found myself trusting girls before, that sounds crazy, i know. I just always met girls in niteclubs etc and never relaxed. I mean, i'm no different to anyone else, just that, i dont know, there doesnt seem to a place for someone like me in the world. Everyone chases different things that i've no interest in. I always seem to be waiting for something more to happen in my life, something greater as in closer to God. I dunno how to explain myself.
Anyway, I've met girls i liked and never wanted to do anything about it cos i was thinking about religious life at the the time. Now I feel bad because this girl is giving every hint to me to ask her out, and we get on great, but I just cant bring myself to go down that road cos its like tearing myself away from a vocation I think is there but just cant find.
I'm meeting her tomorrow and had decided to ask her out, but I just cant mess her around like I'm using her as some kind of tool to help me discern. I suppose i just answered my own question and probably need to discern more.
I know i said a lot about girls but i have the minimum of experience that way. i suppose its often in the back of my mind that my sense of vocation isnt strong enough to overcome doubts that i'm closing out girls without ever having been attached to one.
Anyway, thanks for listening...

Listen to your spiritual director. You have tried religious life and for some reason it didn't work out. Maybe you should now try dating, and see how that goes. Just be honest with her; she deserves no less.

Is she Catholic? Can you explain to her where you are in your discernment process? for you.

Peace,
Linda