Well,

I got dumped last night. I finally told my ex that I didn't want to continue with pre-marital sex........and she freaked out a left me.

Now, I find it confusing that my girlfriend refuses to see that a relationship can exist without sex.

Also, feeling both sad about the end of what I thought was a great relationship but amazing calm about taking a stand and living my faith, even if it is one of the tenets I have trouble accepting.

I'm so sorry that your girlfriend treated you like that, but great job standing up for yourself!

There are other girls out there who will have their values in the right places. Don't worry.

The angles and saints in Heaven are clapping for you today, and so are we!

It stinks when doing the right thing hurts. Thanks be to God for the gift of grace that enabled you to do it anyhow.

Thank you for the kind words Father.

It's not easy, but she wanted me to do and be more then what I am capable of.

We'd been together for 9 months, during which time I figured I'd go for the sex and then go to confession.......as I see many people doing these days.

This didn't work, I ended up feeling physically sick over it. So I stopped and she decided that I thought she was fat and ugly and I was a jackass.

Doesn't help that she wants/wanted to move in with me in a couple of months, something I'm just not ready for.

Then there is the fact that when I told her I wanted to be with her but could "be" with her she got REALLY ticked and demanded why my faith mattered now when it didn't 9 months ago.

The truly sad part is.....I put off RCIA so much to spend time with her that I missed out on my Confirmation this year.....very annoying.

It's good you realize that we can not use God's mercy as a license to sin.

What Father said. And give things some time. Sometimes God straightens things out in ways we can't foresee. Either way, know that His plan for you is for your good.

I am so sorry that are you dealing with this pain right now... however, good things will come from it.

When I was single, I had a pretty bad relationship with someone but in the end I learned so much. The most important thing I learned is that the person who I should marry should not be a person who wants me to sacrifice my morals or faith. If a person asks that of me, then this is not the person for me.

So... it seems that this experience may be a similar lesson for you.

As the saying goes, there are plenty of fish in the sea. You may need to do quite a bit of fishing first, but if it is meant to be, you will find the right person for you... in God's time.

Lisa

As far as I've understood it, one cannot be forgiven if one only does go to Confession just to do the sin again...
I mean, the Lord know what's in our hearts, and if we would just go to Confession but without a true conviction of trying not to commit the sin again I have understood it as we then aren't forgiven, since we cannot ask for forgiveness for something we aren't sorry about, which we can't if we actually aren't convicted to not do it again.

You're right, hence the flaw in my plan.

Now she wants a better explanation for why I won't have sex with her.

Apparently saying, "The Church teaches sex should only take place within the context of marriage and I want to follow that teaching." wasn't good enough.

"Because I love you and respect your dignity as a person and should not tell you with my body that I'm giving myself entirely to you until such time as we actually do that by getting married."

Try with "Because it's a highway to Hell - if you want to know how the punishment in Hell is like, try ripping your guts out and you'll get an idea how Hell is like. "

Beautiful response

Lisa

Congratulations. You know, we all have some sort of crossroad to pass. I had many. First was pornography, then cigarettes. I had to get slapped upside the head to see how porn was destroying me and my marriage. Some would say I had an addiction. Maybe, but I have found that if I give my problem completely to Christ, he will help me with it. When I dropped the porn viewing, I also dropped most TV, most books, most movies. I turned to Jesus and Mary, and it was sooooo easy! Cigarettes, the same thing. I tried at least 10 times to quit when I didn't really want to. The last time, asking Jesus to take it away, I was totally successful. That was 5 months ago.

Why all this confession? God takes things that seem bad at the moment, and turn them into good, just as he did with Jesus death on the cross.

With your girlfriend, I'm wondering about contraception and birth control. Was she or you? If so, you've taken another grave sin off the table. I'm not condemning, just asking because she seems so comfortable with living in with you.

As Lisa said, you will find someone who's right for you, who believes the same as you. Probably in your RCIA class. Now go get busy with that!

I didn't say he felt that way. Many people do, and I said it was good he understands that.

We should wave:

NO PRE-MARITAL SEX

Sex is good within the marriage - between the husband and the wife. Carl Anderson, the Supreme Knight of Knights of Columbus and Father José Granados have just released a brand new book:



This book is titled Called to Love: Approaching John Paul II's Theology of the Body (Doubleday Religion, now on sale 4/14/09, $24.00).

Got this a few minutes ago.......thoughts......advice?


Edited by Administrator

Looks like you misread her. You were not dumped.

Many guys (me for sure) don't do a good job of communicating our intentions. We want to "fix" things ourselves without dicussion. My DW will tell me when something is on her mind. I'm not that way at all so we have occasional misunderstandings and it usually involves me not communicating to her.

I think her note is clear and that she is sincere.

Better talk.

Is it possible that her reaction to you not wanting to have sex is because she is feeling like you aren't attracted to her? Maybe her insecurities came out. Every woman wants to feel wanted by her husband/boyfriend, etc. and vice versa. So, maybe she's feeling rejected because you didn't communicate anything to her and then bam.. no sex and she's feeling like you aren't attracted to her or something.

You need to talk with her about all of this.

Lisa

The plot thickens.....looks like I have some work to do.

Edited by Administrator

Don't forget to keep praying!