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 Post subject: Never deeper//why did the chicken cross the road
PostPosted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 8:53 pm 
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Why did the chicken cross the road?


DR. PHIL :
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.



OPRAH :
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.


GEORGE W. BUSH :
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.



COLIN POWELL :
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...



ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.



JOHN KERRY :
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.



NANCY GRACE :
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.



PAT BUCHANAN :
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.



MARTHA STEWART :
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.




DR SEUSS :
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.



ERNEST HEMINGWAY :
To die in the rain. Alone.




JERRY FALWELL :
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side'. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.



GRANDPA :
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.




BARBARA WALTERS :
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.



JOHN LENNON :
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.




ARISTOTLE :
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.




BILL GATES :
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ....... reboot.




ALBERT EINSTEIN :
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?



BILL CLINTON :
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?



AL GORE :
I invented the chicken!




COLONEL SANDERS :
Did I miss one?




DICK CHENEY :
Where's my gun?




AL SHARPTON :
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

by(e)carg

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 Post subject: Re: Never deeper//why did the chicken cross the road
PostPosted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 8:57 pm 
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:laughhard

I enjoyed that!

Thanks
Lisa


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 Post subject: Re: Never deeper//why did the chicken cross the road
PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 6:11 am 
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:laughhard

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 Post subject: Re: Never deeper//why did the chicken cross the road
PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 6:19 am 
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BARACK OBAMA: "No, the chicken really WAS born on this side of the road, and he has the certificate to prove it. He does have relatives on the other side."

GLEN BECK: "The chicken should be free to cross the road if he wants to. And he shouldn't be forced to share the eggs with the lazy chickens who depend on others to pay for their crossing. Beware of anyone who speaks of chicken social justice."

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 Post subject: Re: Never deeper//why did the chicken cross the road
PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:02 am 
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It's obvious to me that the poor chicken was being discriminated against and was forced to cross the road to escape the prejudice.

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 Post subject: Re: Never deeper//why did the chicken cross the road
PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:50 am 
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chaz bono...that poor chicken...she knew all along , as soon as she was hatched, that she was a rooster... she crossed the road to have the surgery necessary to begin crowing with the roosters

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 Post subject: Re: Never deeper//why did the chicken cross the road
PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 12:12 pm 
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RON PAUL "The government should stay completely out of the chicken business, the road business, and the crossing business."

THE CHICKEN: Vote for me. I am the most popular candidate on this thread.

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 Post subject: Re: Never deeper//why did the chicken cross the road
PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 12:15 pm 
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BARCK OBAMA 2 "I am proposing a taxes increase on those making over 250,000. Then we can build 'chicken crossings' to provide safe passage for chickens who want to cross the road."

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 Post subject: Re: Never deeper//why did the chicken cross the road
PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 1:23 pm 
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I'd like to see St. Thomas Aquinas' proposals on this subject... :mrgreen:

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 Post subject: Re: Never deeper//why did the chicken cross the road
PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 2:36 pm 
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DOOM: Why do people say 'road' when they mean extended asphalt vehicular access surface. And by the way I hate chickens too.


Last edited by ellietrish on Sun Apr 29, 2012 2:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Never deeper//why did the chicken cross the road
PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 2:42 pm 
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DOOM: Chickens are bastards.

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 Post subject: Re: Never deeper//why did the chicken cross the road
PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 2:44 pm 
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bastard coatings with bastard fillings :yes:

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 Post subject: Re: Never deeper//why did the chicken cross the road
PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 2:57 pm 
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ellietrish wrote:
DOOM: Why do people say 'road' when they mean extended asphalt vehicular access surface. And by the way I hate chickens too.


Roads are not necessarily made out of asphalt...

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 Post subject: Re: Never deeper//why did the chicken cross the road
PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 2:58 pm 
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kage_ar wrote:
DOOM: Chickens are bastards.



That one is a little closer to what I would actually say...

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 Post subject: Re: Never deeper//why did the chicken cross the road
PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 2:58 pm 
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Doom wrote:
ellietrish wrote:
DOOM: Why do people say 'road' when they mean extended asphalt vehicular access surface. And by the way I hate chickens too.


Roads are not necessarily made out of asphalt...


:laughhard :laughhard :laughhard

touche! and classic

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 Post subject: Re: Never deeper//why did the chicken cross the road
PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 5:22 pm 
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ellietrish wrote:
DOOM: Why do people say 'road' when they mean extended asphalt vehicular access surface. And by the way I hate chickens too.


Heretic.


























:mrgreen:

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 Post subject: Re: Never deeper//why did the chicken cross the road
PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 7:20 pm 
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DESCARTES: I doubt that the chicken crossed the road. In fact, I doubt there is a chicken. I doubt there is a road.

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