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 Post subject: Thinking of women in bikinis sin?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 2:19 am 
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Well, I was wondering, is it a sin to, well, look at women in bikinis/underwear and such that appear everywhere when you leave your home and fantasize about that till one realizes that it is indeed a sin, and cast away those thoughts?

Of course, it's on the telly and in some clips on the Internet as well.
Or does it depend on my intention of watching them? :scratch:

I should probably cast away my eyes I guess :P

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 Post subject: Re: Thinking of women in bikinis sin?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 4:42 am 
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It's not a sin to see a woman in a bikini if it's right there and you come across it (I recommend averting the eyes if you do see them), but to go seek out pictures of them would certainly not be wise.

If you deliberately look at them in order to fantasize about them that could well be a sin.

SV

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 Post subject: Re: Thinking of women in bikinis sin?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 5:04 am 
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St Veronica wrote:
If you deliberately look at them in order to fantasize about them that could well be a sin.

But if one does that, and then, well, realises that one does so, and then, when one is fully aware of it, throw away the thoughts?

I know that it might seem awkward, but it seems as if I sometimes do things without thinking too much about (like daydreaming I guess this could be called).

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 Post subject: Re: Thinking of women in bikinis sin?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 5:47 am 
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It's good that you are realizing it. Usually, with something like this, you know deep down whether or not it's something you should be doing.

If you aren't, it's good that you stopped yourself from continuing the fantasy, but you still started the initial one. After the fact doesn't really matter.

Lisa


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 Post subject: Re: Thinking of women in bikinis sin?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 5:53 am 
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Lisa1515 wrote:
If you aren't, it's good that you stopped yourself from continuing the fantasy, but you still started the initial one. After the fact doesn't really matter.

The thing is, I don't want to fantasise about it, and I don't really think I've done something to start the fantasies about it... but I still feel kind of guilty because I don't stop them right when they're coming into my minds. These thoughts I mean.

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 Post subject: Re: Thinking of women in bikinis sin?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 6:23 am 
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minutz3 wrote:
Lisa1515 wrote:
If you aren't, it's good that you stopped yourself from continuing the fantasy, but you still started the initial one. After the fact doesn't really matter.

The thing is, I don't want to fantasise about it, and I don't really think I've done something to start the fantasies about it... but I still feel kind of guilty because I don't stop them right when they're coming into my minds. These thoughts I mean.


It's really a challenge for men these days because the female body is displayed every where you look. Sadly, you are sighted and that's all it takes to start the fantasy with half-naked women on everywhere - on tv, billboard, magazines, etc. So, maybe you didn't start the fantasy and as I said, it's good that you are realizing it sooner rather than later. Feeling guilty in this instance is ok. It will help you get to a place where you will see something and immediately before a fantasy begins, think of something else - unrelated. It takes training. You're already on your way to beating it. Ask God for help.

Lisa


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 Post subject: Re: Thinking of women in bikinis sin?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 10:46 am 
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Have you talked to your Priest about Confirmation yet? Understand that you are in a battle without being fully armed to fight

http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc/p2s2c1a2.htm#1303:

1303 From this fact, Confirmation brings an increase and deepening of baptismal grace:
- it roots us more deeply in the divine filiation which makes us cry, "Abba! Father!";
- it unites us more firmly to Christ;
- it increases the gifts of the Holy Spirit in us;
- it renders our bond with the Church more perfect;
- it gives us a special strength of the Holy Spirit to spread and defend the faith by word and action as true witnesses of Christ, to confess the name of Christ boldly, and never to be ashamed of the Cross:


Recall then that you have received the spiritual seal, the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of right judgment and courage, the spirit of knowledge and reverence, the spirit of holy fear in God's presence. Guard what you have received. God the Father has marked you with his sign; Christ the Lord has confirmed you and has placed his pledge, the Spirit, in your hearts.

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 Post subject: Re: Thinking of women in bikinis sin?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 10:51 am 
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Its not a sin if that woman in the bikini is your wife!

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 Post subject: Re: Thinking of women in bikinis sin?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 11:06 am 
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This sounds like a good question to ask your Confessor. He would be in a much better position to advise you.

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 Post subject: Re: Thinking of women in bikinis sin?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 11:12 am 
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baptist bumble wrote:
Its not a sin if that woman in the bikini is your wife!

I'm not married though :P
Don't know really if I'm called to family life or what I am called to, but good point indeed bumble :wink:

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 Post subject: Re: Thinking of women in bikinis sin?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 11:14 am 
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I would like to mention that just because one may be married does not mean its proper to turn his wife into a sex object.

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 Post subject: Re: Thinking of women in bikinis sin?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 11:28 am 
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baptist bumble wrote:
Its not a sin if that woman in the bikini is your wife!



Well it could be, depends on how far you take it.


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 Post subject: Re: Thinking of women in bikinis sin?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 11:48 am 
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Come Be My Light wrote:
I would like to mention that just because one may be married does not mean its proper to turn his wife into a sex object.

The tomatoe is right on this one though :P
Objectification of people is not something we should strive for, but rather try to cleanse our minds from.

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 Post subject: Re: Thinking of women in bikinis sin?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 12:05 pm 
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I think you need to work on training yourself so that you don't reach the point of fantasizing before realizing that you shouldn't be fantasizing. The moment you start thinking of something in an impure manner, you should be able to 1) realize that you're thinking impure thoughts, 2) realize that it's sinful, and 3) stop the thoughts. Usually #3 is hardest, but you seem held up on step #2 it sounds like? If that's true, maybe you need some kind of constant reminder of God. Can you put a crucifix by your TV screen? A picture of Mary at your computer? Something like this may help you to realize that your impure thoughts are sinful sooner rather than later.

In terms of banishing your fantasies once they've started, this article warns against simply suppressing your thoughts. Drawing on JPII's "Love and Responsibility," it says that if you just push the thoughts away from your mind, in a moment of weakness they could all come rushing back. Instead you ought to try to look at it reasonably so that you know that the gains from living chastely outweigh momentary sexual pleasure.

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 Post subject: Re: Thinking of women in bikinis sin?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 12:15 pm 
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Some people find if they switch their train of thought it helps greatly....like once you realize you are thinking about women in bikini's etc...stop and think about the Blessed Virigin, say some prayers also.


SV

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 Post subject: Re: Thinking of women in bikinis sin?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 12:55 pm 
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St Veronica wrote:
Some people find if they switch their train of thought it helps greatly....like once you realize you are thinking about women in bikini's etc...stop and think about the Blessed Virigin, say some prayers also.

Yes, that's what I usually do.
Mostly when noone else see me (or so I think) I do the sign of the cross and says "In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit..." and asks for help. It does work very good most of the time. But the indecent thoughts does always come back. I would be very happy to get rid of them once and for all.

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 Post subject: Re: Thinking of women in bikinis sin?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 12:58 pm 
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minutz3 wrote:
I would be very happy to get rid of them once and for all.

A priest I know related a story about an older man asking him when the temptations to impurity would stop. His reply? "Six months after you're dead!"

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 Post subject: Re: Thinking of women in bikinis sin?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 1:11 pm 
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Denniston wrote:
minutz3 wrote:
I would be very happy to get rid of them once and for all.

A priest I know related a story about an older man asking him when the temptations to impurity would stop. His reply? "Six months after you're dead!"

Yikes!
Does that mean that he thought that he's going to Purgatory for about six months, or...? :scratch:

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 Post subject: Re: Thinking of women in bikinis sin?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 1:20 pm 
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It just means that having a healthy sexual appetite is NORMAL. You can never get rid of it, as the human person IS a sexual being. If we were not, there wouldn't be a billion and hundred million of us Catholics running around. It is impossible not to notice someone is beautiful unless you are a cold blooded thing. The key with this, and I'm convinced we men have a special burden here, is to not let it get out of hand. To not objectify the human body or sex in general. To always be mindful of the Church's teaching on human sexuality. For some of us, it's a Herculean task.

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 Post subject: Re: Thinking of women in bikinis sin?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 1:24 pm 
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not to derail minutz3's post... but yall keep using the word "objectify." would you mind explaining what you mean by that?

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